So where the fuck did the word “fuck” come from? The English language branched off from a Germanic source, so it is no surprise that ‘to copulate’ in German is ficken, the middle Dutch is fokken, and the Swedes say focka.
“Fuck” is used in various ways as a verb: transitive (John fucked Jane), intransitive (John and Jane fucked), active (John fucked Jane) or passive (Jane was fucked by John). It can also be an adverb (John is a fucking bastard), a noun (Jane is a terrific fuck), or an adjective (Jane is fucking beautiful). “Fuck” is a versatile swear word:
Greetings “How the fuck are you?”
Dismay “Oh, fuck it”
Fraud “I was fucked by the McDonalds Drive-through”
Desperation “Fuckityfuckfuckfuck”
Trouble “Well, I guess I’m fucked again”
Disbelief “Unbefuckinglievable!!!”
Confusion “What the fuck....?”
Agreement “Absofuckinglutely”
Disappointment “This fucking fucker is fucked”
Directions “Fuck off”
Starting a relationship “Let’s fuck now!”
Apathy “Who gives a fuck”
Professional appraisal of mechanical failure “It’s fucked”
Agreement “Fucking oath.”
Historical use of the 'f' word
General Custer - Where did all them fucking Indians come from?
Captain of the Titanic “Where’s all the fucking water coming
from?”
Michelangelo - “You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling?”
John Lennon - “Is that a real fucking gun?”
Richard Nixon - “Who’s going to fucking know?”
Picasso - “It does fucking look like her.”
Michael Jackson - “It’s a fucking skin condition”
Walt Disney - “Fuck a duck.”
Joan of Arc - “I hope it fucking rains.”
George Bush - “Fcuk! I can’t spell.”
Paris Hilton - “Fuck me.”
William Tell - “Keep fucking still.”
Sex toys
There are sex toys for almost every use you could possibly imagine. Vibrators are often dildo-shaped, but may be shorter for anal use, or curved to reach the G-spot. The rabbit vibrator has “bunny ears” to sit both sides of the clitoris.]
Penis sleeves are modelled to accept a penis for simulated intercourse, while Ben Wa balls are hollow metal balls to be worn in the vagina for extended periods of time. Other sex toys include cock rings, dildos, penis extensions, nipple clamps, nipple suction devices, butt plugs, anal beads, sex dolls and all sorts of sadomasochism gear.
Mechanised devices allow the user to control the speed, depth and angle of penetration, and virtual sex using computers will expand hugely in the coming decades.
Remember sex toys can pass on infections, so always clean them carefully after use. Only use water-based lubricants, particularly with silicone or latex rubber toys. Latex is very porous and must be cleaned thoroughly – some people can be allergic to latex as well.
Some sex factoids
According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures
13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches. The average is around
5 to 7 inches.
The most common fantasy is oral sex.
3. 8% of us have regular anal sex.
60% of men and 54% of women have had a one-night stand.
Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.
In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises.
Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed.
A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller because of the release of endorphins
(some males thus believe headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have
sex).
56% of men have had sex at work.
Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love an average
of three times a night, every night, until their thirties, when the weekly
average drops to a mere 14.
1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair.
62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs.
The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain has
been clocked at 156 miles per hour.
England’s King Edward VII, a man of considerable heft, had a special
table built so that he could comfortably engage in sexual intercourse.
29% of us are virgins when we marry.
The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes.
58% like dirty talk during sex.
22% rent porno flicks at least once.
Given today’s average frequency of sexual intercourse, it would take
the typical Western couple more than four years to try every one of the
529 positions described in the Kama Sutra.
The Kinsey Institute was founded in 1947 to promote interdisciplinary research and scholarship in the fields of human sexuality, gender, and reproduction. Visit their site at www.kinseyinstitute.org
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