Over the last two or three years I’ve picked up a habit. Most weekends I chill out, smoke tobacco and cannabis, drink alcohol, and shoot up heroin, coke, and speed, depending on what’s around and where my finances are at. During the week, I have a different habit. I go to work, don’t smoke, have a couple of beers, and generally keep my shit together.
I’m not really sure why I’m like that. There’s nothing particularly different about me or why I use drugs. They make me feel good. I like them. Most times, it’s fun. But other people, close friends, some who are in the same situation as me, are now on methadone programs — not having a good time, their relationships falling apart, feeling like shit.
It hasn’t all been easy. I’ve been a bit messy at times. I’ve had times of using at work, my relationships being affected, isolating myself, not caring about important things in my life, feeling the misery and despair of detoxing alone.
But I guess the one thing I find most useful is being able to keep my drug use separate and special. I’ve got all these stupid rules about when I let myself use. I’m in a relationship with someone who keeps me in touch with reality. I’ve got Catholic guilt gnawing away at me, acting like an emergency brake when I start skidding around on thin ice. I’ve got plans that are more important than being off my head all the time. I need to look after my cat.
I’ve also got a good mate who has his habits under control and who I can talk to. He helps me to keep things in perspective. He’s also very practical. This is what he reckons are the golden rules of having your cake and eating it too.
1. Days off are vital. If you’re going hard, one or two days is brilliant. You need at least five or six days if you want to really clear your head.
2. Clear your head periodically so you can look realistically at your self, life, job, finances, and so on. Even casual users will be clouded at times. One’s view after one day’s break can be quite different after a six days’ break!
3. When on it or off it, it is important to have at least one person you can fess up to, someone you can tell about your shenanigans and your drug use! Other drug users are probably best. It doesn’t have to be someone you use with necessarily, or someone who uses at all — just someone you trust!
4. Don’t get too focused on one particular drug for too long a time!
5. Keep your drug use within reasonable hours and don’t stay up all night. You can use in the morning or early afternoon, for example.
6. Be conscious of your appearance and note any weight loss, darkness under your eyes, and so on. Don’t let the tired signs build up too much.
7. Be kind to yourself when coming down. Don’t even think about it until three or four days have past. Give your body and brain those three or four days before you start analysing your use. Acknowledge that you are feeling flat because of your drug use, or lack of it.
8. Be conscious of your dose levels and amounts. Keeping a diary of drugs used on what days can help.
9. Try to eat as well as you can, sleep as much as possible, and do regular exercise. Eat lots of fresh vegetables and take vitamin C.
10. Keep up your commitments to family, friends and partners. You will see these relationships wane if you’re on drugs a lot and are low on energy. Be conscious of isolating yourself. You may need to be on your own when you’re coming down, but you can still make a phone call or two!
11. Be mindful of your finances. They can be a good governor of your use. Make sure you can afford it.
My stuff works for me. His stuff works for him. Functional drug use does happen.
G & M
Many thanks to NUAA for permission to reprint this article from User’s News. Visit their website at nuaa.org.au for all sorts of information and user’s stories.
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